Week 5, Day 7: Pain

"The gospel teaches... that the presence of painful experience is an important element in man’s capacity ultimately to experience joy..." - Bruce C. Hafen

I am in pain today. I woke up this morning with a little stiffness in my back, which turned into sharp pain this morning. I also had some numbness in my left arm, so I wondered if it was a heart attack. Trust me, I think of all worst case scenarios first, and then hope to be pleasantly surprised.

I realized it was a spasming muscle that two Alieve couldn't even touch, which is saying a lot since I never take pain medicine, so it usually works its magic in half a dose. I stretched it out a lot today, but it hurt to even tilt my head forward. My roommate gave me a little massage tonight, which helped and I am sure a good night's rest will work wonders.

The interesting thing about this, though, is the thought of pain in general. I once listened to a book on CD about a husband and wife and their journey in creating and strengthening a 42-year marriage, and the husband said something very interesting. His career had slowed, and her career blossomed, and the whole process was somewhat of a hit to his self-esteem. The wife then asked the husband if they should have looked into anti-depressants at the time, and he said, "no, I wanted to experience life."

I do not mean to diminish in any way a person's struggle with depression, but I have thought a lot about this choice. I think we think that mortality should somehow be pain-free and super easy... but how in the world could we feel joy if we never tasted the opposite? That's part of the reason that I try to avoid painkillers for the most part. I want to experience life. I want, as the quote says above, the "presence of painful experience" because it will increase my capacity to "ultimately to experience joy."

I want to experience joy. I want to experience this glorious mortality. I want the Savior to be able to stand with me as I face my pains.

But for now, I think I'll just head to bed.

:)