Week 1, Day 4: Fearful

Is it just me, or does the world just seem scary? For the past few months, I have dealt with serious fears, fears that have come from unemployment, from dating a boy seriously for the first time ever, from increasing wickedness in the world, and probably from sheer lack of faith.

Well, today was one of those days. As I sat in our weekly devotional listening to a report that one of my colleagues sisters had passed away after suffering for years with Alzheimer's, I began to fear the same fate for myself or worse, for someone I love. Then the devotional speaker stood up and spoke about fears, worries, violence, etc., and I honestly understood what he was talking about. He then went on to talk about the many ways to fortify our faith and my mind drifted. I shouldn't have let my mind drift since the topic was so relevant, but as it drifted, I heard an organist playing the song, "Sweet Hour of Prayer" n the room next to ours. Then into my mind came the lyrics, "In seasons of distress and grief, my soul hath often found relief," and I suddenly realized how I could find comfort. I began to think about my life and the times that I deal with the greatest amount of stress, and sadly, it's often when I forget to really seek deeply to communicate with my Father. I forget to pray and trust the Lord and I fear.

Tonight, as I mentioned in yesterday's post, we had a dinner for refugees from Bhutan who have once again been driven from what they had come to call home. It was a special experience and I LOVED these dear, darling people. Even though we could not always communicate, they were filled with love and joy, and I couldn't help but give it back to them!

This is not them, but the people in this photo are Bhutanese as well. I counted to ten with a man who looked just like this. LOVED him!

Afterward, I was thinking about them and how they really have every right to be angry or upset, but they're not. They've chosen happiness (or happyness in light of this blog).

Then I realize that the way we feel is a choice. I can choose to listen to my fears and shirk. I can choose to focus on what is going wrong and always be miserable about something or I can seek the strength of the Lord as I work through my fears. I can choose to be happy.