Week 1, Day 3: Imitation

I spent a lot of my day seeking. I wanted to see Christ and to feel him. I had a few experiences that made a small impact, but it wasn't until I stopped at Walmart on my way home tonight that I had the experience I was praying and longing for.

I was standing near a display of green beans, cream of mushroom soup and french onions (I LOVE when they pair things together like that. It makes my life so easy, even if I know I can get a better deal if I go in search of the generic brand.) I have the assignment to take a vegetable to our ward dinner with Nepalese and Bhutanese refugees tomorrow night and green bean casserole was the requested item. How convenient that Walmart grouped the ingredients together for me.

Wow, tangent. Anyway, after grabbing four cans of soup from the cream of mushroom box, I realized the cans were actually cream of chicken. Confusing, but luckily I noticed the mistake. I turned around to exchange the cans, when I saw this dad and his small son walking nearby. The dad did this funny little leg lift/stretch thing as he walked and then his little son, who had just watched his dad, followed suit and did exactly as he saw his dad do.

At first, I just thought it was the sweetest thing in the world, but then the thought occured to me to liken it to me and my effort to follow Christ. How often am I as that small boy trying desperately to do as my Leader? As I read my scriptures and progress in the gospel, I see how the Savior walks, and I seek to follow Him. Sometimes I seem to do okay at it. Other times, most times, I feel that I fail miserably. I try, but I feel so often that I come up short.

Then I think the story of Peter and walking on water. He wanted so badly to come unto Christ. He wanted to be like Christ, and asked the Lord to "bid me come unto thee..."

When I see the perfect example of Christ, that is my desire as well. I feel the Spirit testify to me of the divinity and sanctity of Christ and I desire to imitate and do to Christ does.

Then something goes wrong, I lose my focus, my humanity hits and I sink. My faith waivers. I try so hard to do it right and do it well, but I lose faith and I sink. Then I fear the displeasure of my God.

But I think of that father and his son. If that dad knew that his son had done exactly as he had done, he would not rebuke his son for seeking follow him. He would most likely have felt a sweet and tender love for this boy so eager to follow his example.

Then I think about it and maybe the son after attempting to do what his dad did felt like I do at times, "but dad, I didn't do it just right. I didn't do it as well as you." Would the dad look at the son and say, "Oh son, you're so disappointing"? No, never.

I believe that Christ is watching me and cheers my best efforts, even if or when I fall short. Christ came to Peter immediately and yes, rebuked him for his lack of faith, but also lifted him. He loves me, His daughter, even with my many faults and failings. He watches my best efforts and cheers me on... even if I don't always get it right.

Maybe especially when I don't always do it right.