He Knew

 Wow. So, an update:

I started my internship with the Church Public Affairs!!

It is great. In fact, it's better than I even imagined. It has it's weird times, like when people ask about what school I go to, or when they ask why I didn't take the job offer for the LDS Public Affairs position they offered me a few years ago in Washington D.C. Truthfully, for the first little while, I didn't have an answer for the second question. Since then, I have had moments of great enlightenment and now I finally understand.

When I first began the internship, I met with my supervisor about some responsibilities and hopes for my internships. He started to run down a list of tasks that he wanted me to work on, and I was able to tell him that had the skill set to do all but one of them. It made me grateful for Deseret Book, but I really didn't think too deeply about it. Later, I went a devotional for the office and they introduced me as the girl who didn't take the DC job. The thought began to haunt me: "why didn't you take the D.C. job? You probably wouldn't have had to go through all the challenges of Deseret Book and then the unemployment phase either. What were you thinking??"

While I was thinking this discouraging thought, a fellow coworker began to ask me about my decision not to go to DC. I told her that at that time, I had felt the desire to get a different type of experience, one that I couldn't have had as an administrative assistant (which was the job offer I had received earlier.) Later, I was talking to my boss about it, and he told me that the public affairs office recommends people going out and getting experience that they can bring back to the office. Suddenly, I realized that I had done just that without really knowing it. My job at Deseret Book, although challenging, gave me huge amounts of experience. I was able to learn invaluable things that have helped me daily in what I am doing now. The best part about this story is that they are really trying hard to open permanent positions in the Salt Lake office within the next few months.

Although I don't know what will happen next with my job, I acknowlege how much I have been led and blessed in my decisions. The reservoir of faith building in me has become strong and will sustain me in these next few months as I see what life will now hold for me.

The best part about this whole thing is that He knew. I had no idea and often panicked over my life, but the whole time, the Lord was standing there attempting to whisper peace and comfort into my soul. The question is, did I listen? Well, yes, probably about 80 percent of the time. Now, I just have to keep doing it. I just have to remember to walk forward and trust in Him. There is a plan for me.